Global Day of Parents

In May of 2018 I was on a bus in China with an eager team of 10 college students from Canada.  We would be living, eating and working together for the next 3 1/2 weeks and I (the old guy) was anxious to get to know them better.  I needn’t have worried. Within minutes they started to open up and share their stories.  Sadly, three of the four young men were from broken homes where fathers had been absent or abusive or both.  There was a wistful sadness when they spoke.  They had missed out, and they knew it, and it hurt.  That part of their lives could never be redeemed.  Or could it?

One by one they provided a codicil, that “but wait, there’s more” addendum.  They had come to faith.  A faith that provided an anchor in the storms of adolescence and direction when the way ahead was confusing and fogbound. They would be ok.  They would live differently.  They would break the cycle. 

Unfortunately, most stories like this don’t end as well, and the lack of a healthy family can be devastating.  Consider the following well-documented and much studied facts:  Children who grow up with two loving parents (as opposed to children of blended, divorced or single-parent families) will:

— have less out of wedlock births

— be more likely to graduate high school and university

— have higher employment rates

— have less dependence on welfare programs

— be 82% less likely to live in poverty

— have greater involvement in community, school and sports programs

— have greater cognitive development in pre-school

— be 20-35 % more physically healthy

— have higher scores for verbal reasoning and will have less speech defects

— exhibit fewer behavioural issues in school

— experience less social and emotional problems as children and adults

Wow!  What a call to action!  It is no surprise that over and over again studies show that the family is the most significant building block of our society.  As our families go, so goes our society.  We can’t abrogate our role and abandon to others, or no one, what we ourselves should be doing.  The choice is stark.  On the one hand: the list above.  On the other hand: kids with scars and deep problems that, short of divine intervention, will continue to devastate them and those around them.

Postscript — It is really important to add that many parents have no choice in maintaining the integrity of their families: death, divorce, infidelity, abuse or abandonment can leave a parent reeling and bloody, through no fault of their own.  This blog post is not aimed at the innocent, who should receive our full compassion and help, but at those of us who have a choice in pursuing the best for our kids